This session was meant to be an open session with no specific agenda for the day. I guess this was the best time for a free session particularly after the two HEAVY sessions by Hans on Sex, Sexuality and AIDS. The reason being anything today would have been a little difficult to digest. Appropriately Rakesh started by getting a feedback the sessions taken by Hans. As expected, as if everyone was waiting to explode, the answers began to flow.
It started with Nisha who said that as his language and the approach to the entire topic was so simple and direct, it made everyone comfortable about the topic. For Davar, one of the important things from the sessions was that a number of his myths were quelled. One of them was that HIV was being spread by people putting infected needles in the seats of the theatres. Hans had replied to this by saying this was all rubbish as no one would have the time to go to theatres and insert needles in the seat. Also if someone did, there is an element of time which came into the picture, which made the entire effort almost impossible. Also Davar felt that the entire exercise of Hans asking us to put the condoms on the dummy penis was really helpful, rather might prove to be helpful! Mahalaksmi though had a slightly different take on the sessions and the way they had been conducted. She felt it was a little too much on the face. It was a bit uncomforting for her, maybe because something like this had come a little early for her. But the positive thing for her was that it helped her to understand one’s own body and sexuality better than before. The body mapping exercise proved really helpful. Jahnvi mentioned something really important. She said that whatever we discussed a major percentage of it was something we already knew. Just that the way it was brought to us was something different. Also she realized that most of the times, our take on such sensitive issues is more or less the society’s perspective which had been knowingly, unknowingly forced upon us. For me, the sessions were one the most interesting sessions till now. I liked the way Hans put forth the entire topic to us, you could not take your ears and sometimes the ‘eyes’ off what was being discussed in the two sessions. Personally, I felt that the first day was made us prepared what was coming in the next session. Unless and until we were comfortable with the word ‘sex’ and the parallel words which come alongside it, we wouldn’t have been able to discuss sensitive issues like sexuality, the trans-gender community, and AIDS. For Aditi, who could not attend the first session, it was a bit of a shock when she first came in on the second day. But slowly she was able to absorb what the session was meant to be for. Later she was comfortable talking about it.
Meanwhile Rakesh had been listening to all our feedbacks carefully and also giving critical inputs as and when needed. He told us that they had taken a risk by inviting Hans because this approach might not work with every group. But at the end of it, he thought it was worth taking the risk. We then moved into a discussion on whether this approach would work with every group. The answer was definitely ‘no’. The simple reason being that the approach should vary keeping in mind the backgrounds of the group involved. At the same time we were sure that Hans is mature enough to take care of this while interacting with the other groups. Also Rakesh mentioned an important feedback that in most of the sessions on sex, HIV becomes the concluding topic. This should not be the case as ‘sex’ and not ‘HIV’ should be the concerned point. He then went into nostalgia into his college days where they had to do a study on sex-related issues and how they found it really difficult to get through the entire experience. Looking back, he felt the times have changed a lot, and now people are relatively more open about discussing about sex and related issues.
We then moved into a discussion about the current situation of the trans-genders in India. The focus was more on the Hijra community. There were two sides of the argument. One emphasized on the fact that it is society who is responsible for the position in which the Hijra’s find themselves in. Rakesh put the entire perspective in the famous line used in a number of hindi movies which goes, ‘ Mein mujarim nahi hu, mujhe samaj ne mujarim bana diya hai!’ The other side of the argument said that it was the Hijra’s also who were to blame as they themselves have been creating a bad name for themselves in the manner in which they potray themselves.we the discussed about their history. During the mughal raj, the Hijra’s were equally respected and also served the queens. But after the British came into the picture, things began to change for them.
Slowly we shifted to the trans-genders: the gays and the lesbians and their situation in the current society. The most interesting debate on this started when the question, ‘How does someone became a gay or a lesbian’. The answer was it is either by birth or else by the social conditioning one goes through. Here is where the debate started. The counter point to this was why should someone justify that he is a gay? Do we find a reason to explain why I am a man or a woman? Similarly a gay should be, rather expected to be, and treated with a similar respect. This was the highlight of the entire session today.
After this, all of us dispersed into our respective groups for the projects and began to discuss the agenda of the project and the time frame in which to achieve it, thus putting a sedate end to a rather eventful series of sessions!

ankur kothari